Man is a weak and insecure animal. So he tries to find strength by bonding with others. That is the basis of the concept of friendship. It is a personal gain, a profit. When it becomes a loss, the friend is dropped.
Who is a friend?
The second definition is too general. Going by it even your newspaper boy is your friend. So we stick to the first one.
Feeling of affection. The question is how deep is the affection. Affection is a vague word. Even slight regard can be construed as affection.
JOSEPH ADDISON is all praise for friendship.
Very profound but very true.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON says he hates friendship based on selfishness. Sticking together for social, economic or political gains. That can hardly be called friendship. Emerson calls it prostitution of friendship. Rightly so.
Slightly archaic words but very true what they say.
PAM BROWN says
- A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.
- A person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile: Who goes there? Friend or foe?
The second definition is too general. Going by it even your newspaper boy is your friend. So we stick to the first one.
Feeling of affection. The question is how deep is the affection. Affection is a vague word. Even slight regard can be construed as affection.
JOSEPH ADDISON is all praise for friendship.
The greatest sweetener of human life is Friendship. To raise this to the highest pitch of enjoyment, is a secret which but few discover.
Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
AristotleVery profound but very true.
I hate the prostitution of the name of friendship to signify modish and worldly alliances. I much prefer the company of plough boys and tin-peddlers, to the silken and perfumed amity which celebrates its days of encounter by a frivolous display, by rides in a curricle, and dinners at the best taverns.
Slightly archaic words but very true what they say.
PAM BROWN says
A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely.
I disagree. If the friendship is true there is no need of silly prattle every day. The next quote proves the point.
Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying but the never needing to say is what counts.
Margaret Lee Runbeck-----------------------------------
A year ago I met my best childhood friend. I was very much looking forward meeting him since it was many years since I had met him last.
I was in for a shock. The man I met was different from the guy who was my best friend in childhood. He kept bragging about what work he did. It seems he had entered politics. He explained that he was working for people's welfare and he was feeding and giving shelter to thousands of needy people.
He then talked about another friend of his. Years ago he was my friend's bosom pal. It seems he had died penniless recently. My friend talked of him with contempt.
I was shocked. One does not talk so contemptuously about a friend of the past. Was it really friendship? Do people change so much? Then what is friendship? Can one trust anyone? Can anyone bank upon anyone? Won't your so-called 'best friend' turn against you someday?
What the hell is friendship, then?
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A year ago I met my best childhood friend. I was very much looking forward meeting him since it was many years since I had met him last.
I was in for a shock. The man I met was different from the guy who was my best friend in childhood. He kept bragging about what work he did. It seems he had entered politics. He explained that he was working for people's welfare and he was feeding and giving shelter to thousands of needy people.
He then talked about another friend of his. Years ago he was my friend's bosom pal. It seems he had died penniless recently. My friend talked of him with contempt.
I was shocked. One does not talk so contemptuously about a friend of the past. Was it really friendship? Do people change so much? Then what is friendship? Can one trust anyone? Can anyone bank upon anyone? Won't your so-called 'best friend' turn against you someday?
What the hell is friendship, then?
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Arnold Glasow says A true friend never gets in your way unless you happen to be going down.
Question is "going down". What does it mean. Your friend's interpretation or yours? I think yours is the one you should stick to because you know yourself best. And life is too complex to be analysed by a friend. Even your best friend. Listening to yourself would be a wise thing to do.
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IN A LIGHTER VEIN...
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Miss her. Pity her.
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IN A LIGHTER VEIN...
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband?
Miss her. Pity her.
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An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beast may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.
BuddhaAn insincere friend is no friend. Especially if he/she harms you. Be careful in choosing a friend.
George Washington says the same thing....
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
Albert Camus stresses one of the important thing in a friendship. Equality. Otherwise it is no friendship.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
Never have a companion that casts you in the shade.
Baltasar GracianSame point in different words.
Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.
Oprah WinfreyA sign of a true friend.
It may fortify the relationship, but it is not friendship. One feels secure thinking he/she is better than the other.
Anita Brookner talks about the dark side of friendship....
A man can go from being a lover to being a stranger in three moves flat ... but a woman under the guise of friendship will engage in acts of duplicity which come to light very much later.
Men cheat you, con you in the name of friendship.
Nora Ephron says friendship and sex do not go together.
No man can be friends with a woman he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her. Sex is always out there. Friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Friendship between man and woman is impossible because there must be sexual intercourse.
James JoyceAnton Chekov a man and woman can become friends; only after sex happens between them. Friendship, if ever it comes, comes after that.
What men have called friendship is only a social arrangement, a mutual adjustment of interests, an interchange of services given and received; it is, in sum, simply a business from which those involved propose to derive a steady profit for their own self-love.
"Sometimes your closest friend is your greatest enemy."
Jason FongThat is because he knows everything about you.
Robert N. Lee tells us darkly......
Some friendship is closely akin to treachery.
Very true. One must not get mushy and sentimental about friendship and should watch out for deceit.
There can be no friendship where there is power.
Power admits no equal, and dismisses friendship for flattery. Besides, it keeps the men at a distance, and that is not always what we wish
Edward MooreOvid tells us about the darker side of friendship....
Friendship is but a name, faith is an empty name. Alas,
it is not safe to praise to a friend the object of your love;
as soon as he believes your praises, he slips into your place.
Friendship has its illusions no less than love.
StendhalThoreau does not think much of friendship either.
What is commonly honored with the name of Friendship is no very profound or powerful instinct. Men do not, after all, love their Friends greatly.
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Friend.
I thought you were my friend
You made fun fun of my weakness
You remained silent on my little triumphs in life
You remained aloof when I was sad
You laughed at my discomfiture
All these years
I clung to the delusion
That you were my friend
Because there was no one else
How lonely one is in life
despite living amongst people
But when you laughed
When I was at my deepest low
And flaunted your strengths
When I stammered out my weaknesses
I understood
You were no friend
I was just a vassal
Someone who boosted your ego
I felt sick inside
I retched....
How alone one is in life....
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Friend.
I thought you were my friend
You made fun fun of my weakness
You remained silent on my little triumphs in life
You remained aloof when I was sad
You laughed at my discomfiture
All these years
I clung to the delusion
That you were my friend
Because there was no one else
How lonely one is in life
despite living amongst people
But when you laughed
When I was at my deepest low
And flaunted your strengths
When I stammered out my weaknesses
I understood
You were no friend
I was just a vassal
Someone who boosted your ego
I felt sick inside
I retched....
How alone one is in life....
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